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Man Rules
The following are MAN RULES. This is amended from an email I got 
Men are NOT mind readers.
Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Well, the last one isn’t true… how can anyone have too many shoes!
Cleaning Out Closets… and My Mind
Over the weekend I FINISHED cleaning out the last of the closets in our home that needed de-cluttering. I organized shelves for playdough and painting. I organized photo albums… and even found room to devote a couple of shelves to paper towels and napkins…
I feel GREAT! I know where everything in the house is, and I’ve cleared out anything and everything that we don’t need. I, once again, went through my wardrobe and found things to give to charity…
Clothes and household-odds-and-ends are in the back of the car right now to be dropped off to charity later today.
And I’ve been thinking… I am not a clothes-horse and yet, I find myself every few months with plenty of clothes to give to charity. After cleaning our attic earlier this year, I found most of it was just… stuff. And now it’s gone. I have a couple of containers full of keepsakes from my husband and my childhoods, and special keepsakes for our son… and like I was saying, I’ve been thinking…
Why do people keep so_ much_ stuff_ …
I think ‘stuff’ comforts people; but just having ‘stuff’ is an illogical comfort…
Just for myself, it’s free-ing to declutter and choose a few special things that signify special memories,
the more I do this, the more I feel free to create new memories, and concentrate on today,
It’s Monday, May 18th, 2009- it’s never been today before…
Create a Memory~
and it doesn’t have to be CRAZY-complicated, come on, I’m not Joan of Arc, or Martha Stewart, or a
Mom-MacGyver, ‘Let’s get some string, pine cones, silly puddy, straw, a couple of socks…’
Just have fun~
Kermit The Frog is The Culprit
Yes, I’m talking about the lovable Muppet.
I was watching an NCAA tournament game the other night and the cameras panned over to an older gentleman in the stands, a former basketball player, named Kermit… I stopped paying attention to the commentators at that point and my mind wandered (as it does quite frequently)…
‘… Kermit, you never hear that name anymore, except for the Frog. Actually, I’ve never met anyone named Kermit. It probably was never a REALLY popular name, but I bet Kermit the Frog killed it.’
So I looked it up- and I was right.
Kermit, of Irish and Gaelic origin, hit the height of it’s popularity in 1909. And held steady,
until 1955- when Kermit The Frog was created.
Since 1955, and as Kermit The Frog’s popularity grew, naming a son Kermit has consistently dropped in popularity. And since 1980 it does not even show up in the top 1,000 baby names.
I’ve lived in the DC area pretty much my whole life, and it’s pretty diverse, but I’ve never met a Kermit.
Kermit The Frog, we love you… but you inadvertently screwed any parents who wanted to name their son after their ‘Old Irish Grandfather, Kermit’ or ‘That Cool Uncle Kermit from the Old Country’.
How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
Ah, emails. I usually delete, delete, delete those forwarded mass emails from people. But occasionally I read them. Here are a few scenarios (courtesy of a mass forwarded email) to help you maintain a ‘Healthy Level of Insanity':
* At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.
* Specify That Your Drive-thru Order Is ‘To Go’.
And my favorite: When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
I wish I had the guts to actually do that… I wonder what kind of looks you’d get…
Spring Tulips and… Icicles?
My mom stopped by the other day to say Hi and brought over these beautiful tulips. I love tulips.
They’ve got the whole ‘simple and elegant’ thing going on,
like they are are the Audrey Hepburn of flowers, or something.
Aren’t they lovely?
Meanwhile, outside my front door are these icicles. They are lovely too, in their own way. But it’s March. I guess Mother Nature didn’t look at my memo that ‘I’m done’ with Winter.
Remember: We ‘Spring Forward’ with clocks this weekend!
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over at Shoe Friday on Jodifur!
Thank You
Thank You to all the women out there who offered their kind words and thoughts and prayers to me after writing about my ectopic pregnancy (below). The wishes from near and far have helped me, whether you read it here or over at DC Metro Moms.
It was a hard post to write, but I felt I had to and it was time, because I see a lot of misinformation about ectopic pregnancy, OR NO information out there about ectopic pregnancy.
Once again, I want to inform and empower women and remind women to trust their instincts…
An ectopic pregnancy can go from bad to worse very quickly.
Please seek immediate medical attention if you are pregnant and in pain.
And THANK YOU AGAIN. Thank you for all your warm wishes.
My Ectopic Pregnancy Gone Horribly Wrong
It was President’s Day Weekend…
I was pregnant! We were thrilled… But my HCG levels were low, so something wasn’t quite right.
I didn’t miscarry, as my doctor said I might, so I was hopeful that my pregnancy would get better. Then, Sunday evening I was cramping up so much that I wanted to call the doctor… but didn’t, at first…
I survived another medical trauma at the start of my 20s, so I think of myself as tough.
Then a started to get a sharp pain under my right breast… so I called the doctor. I have since learned that this is, to quote reference books, ‘an ominous sign’ as it means blood is tracking up the abdominal cavity…
The on-call doctor called me back and immediately apologized for being happily distracted- his sister was in labor at the hospital. I told him about the pain, and he quickly suggested I send my husband out for Pepto-Bismol, and to wink, wink, ‘toughen up’.
So I did. And my husband did. And I took the Pepto-Bismol…
That night pain kept waking me up… and at about 6 in the morning my husband was jolted awake by a thud on the floor of our bathroom. He looked around and didn’t see me. He ran into the bathroom and I lay unconscious on the floor.
He called the doctor and got me to the nearest hospital. I was quickly wheeled into the sonogram room and after numerous attempts to find a baby, a doctor was called in and he said, and I quote,
“All I can see is blood.”
Everything went quickly then. Orderlies were running with my stretcher. I was prepped in a hallway awaiting surgery, all the while, nurses covering me with heated blankets, because I was shivering so much from the loss of blood… 1,2,3,4,5 blankets were covering me and still I shook.
Ectopic means “out of place.” In an ectopic pregnancy, a fertilized egg has implanted outside the uterus. The egg settles in the fallopian tubes in more than 95% of ectopic pregnancies, as was my case. The fallopian tube does not have space or nurturing tissue as a uterus does, for a pregnancy. As the fetus grows, it will eventually burst the tube, which causes internal bleeding and eventually, if not treated, death. A classical ectopic pregnancy cannot develop into a live birth.
So there I was, bleeding internally, being wheeled into the OR. My husband had tears in his eyes and said only 3 words,
“DON’T LEAVE ME.”
I didn’t want to, but I was SO TIRED… not the kind of tired you feel when you need a good night’s sleep; I was exhausted. I felt like all the systems in my body were slowing down,
slowly, slowing down…
And then I had a moment of clarity and it hit me, ‘This is BAD. I’m bleeding to death.’
They put me on the operating table, I remember HOW COLD I was. The nurse looked down at me and told me they would help me; she had beautiful blue eyes and the light was coming down around her face and I thought she looked like Mary. And I was comforted.
The anesthesiologist told me to count backward from 100, and I almost did. Then I stopped myself for only a moment, took all the strength I had left, and screamed inside my head,
“Please God, do not let me go out this way. I have fought too hard for life. Please, not this way.”
And I started counting- 100, 99, 98… fade to black.
A few days later, a few more little scares, and I was feeling pretty good- believe it or not.
I was at home and relaxing, because I couldn’t do much else… and I was so grateful to be okay!
A couple more days went by and just for a moment I thought back to that ultrasound…
‘All I can see is blood’. And I started crying.
Then I wept. And I wept… for my baby, for my baby that never got a chance…
Almost 2 years later I delivered my healthy and happy son. He gives us such joy and he makes me laugh,
and sometimes I’m amazed by how wise he is beyond his years…
And on those occasions, I allow myself to believe that he is blessed with an extra little angel who is always looking out for him.
* Trust your instincts. If you think something is wrong, consult a doctor.
* Sometimes women don’t even know they have miscarried… A miscarriage should not be extremely painful. If you do experience extreme pain and/or a sharp pain, please seek immediate medical help.
* Ectopic pregnancy is the leading cause of death for a mother in her first trimester of pregnancy.
An abbreviated version of this can be read at DC Metro Moms.
Truths Of Motherhood
I got this in an email and edited it a bit:
Great Truths of Motherhood:
1) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
2) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
3) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
4) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
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I Was In The 2012 Show !
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