The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 21 – Believe In Miracles
Like the Old Saying Goes,
“Enough coincidences make a fact”
… or a miracle.
And even if they are small ones,
they still count.
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
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to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 20 – The Rules of Life
There are no set rules
on achieving fulfillment,
success,
or love
in this life.
Make Your Own.
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
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to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 19 – Peace
Freedom Is Not Free.
… I heard a POW talk about hate one time.
He was referring to his expected hatred of his captors.
People told him that for him to hate his guards would be nothing out of the ordinary.
People reminded him that nobody would blame him for hating.
Then he paused and looked straight ahead.
He said he didn’t hate them,
“Hatred hurts the hater more than the person being hated.”
Hatred siphons our strength and hope and joy. Hatred takes way too much energy. Hatred is a tapeworm that feeds on our insides; the longer we keep hate within us, the more it festers and grows.
Life is too short for hatred.
… Let those of us who can laugh whenever we want,
write whatever we want,
love whoever we want,
and vote for whoever we want,
never forget what an absolute gift freedom is.
Let us never forget all the people who lost their lives for liberty.
Let us never take freedom for granted.
Let us remember that freedom is not free…
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 18 – Listen…
Battles can be won,
debates can be shaped,
and our opinions may prevail,
by remembering to use tact.
With tact we can find common ground, boundaries can be blurred and a better understanding can be cultivated.
Do not underestimate the power of tact.
Tact can really move mountains.
Tact is diplomacy.
Tact is that great poise factor that makes us all team players and individuals at the same time.
Tact is grace.
Tact requires listening.
Basically, it’s as simple as that.
Listen to what someone is saying.
Don’t jump ahead in your mind anymore.
Let people finish their whole thought.
Don’t get ahead of yourself.
…That reminds me of a hot day in August, right before my wedding.
DC summers can be excruciating sometimes. They are usually hot with 99% humidity. The constant moisture in the air mixes with sweat on peoples’ brows making even the most tailored suits look haggard.
But I digress, on that hot August day I got into a cab.
I told the driver where I was going as I was instructed to shut my door quickly to avoid the heat rushing in. We went back and forth about the humidity and our wonderful Washington summers. To tell you the truth, all I was really thinking of in the back of my mind was my upcoming nuptials.
I announced to the cab driver that I was getting married in the next month. I thought and secretly hoped that even strangers cared.
The old cab driver continued staring straight ahead.
“I didn’t love my wife when I married her,” he told me.
‘What a horrible thing to say’, I thought.
That was too much information between strangers.
My mouth was open, about to say something, but then I closed it,
and listened.
“I thought I loved her when I married her.”
He hesitated, not from awkwardness, but from the memories that seemed to be rushing back to him. He appeared to be more comfortable each time he spoke, like just thinking of her made him not as old or worn out.
“But as the years went on, I grew to really love her…
When I think back to when we married, with as much as I thought I loved her, it was nothing
compared to what I felt for her later.”
He looked in his rear view mirror and locked eyes with me, so I would remember what he said.
“We were married almost forty years. She died about six years ago.”
We sat there in silence. I replayed his words in my head.
“I’m sorry.” I lamely replied. He took in a breath and kind of held it for a moment or two.
“Thank you.” Hearing another voice jerked him back to the present, driving a cab through the almost baking asphalt of the Nation’s Capital. And then he said rather sweetly,
“You think you love the man you’re going to marry now, but it will grow.”
We pulled up to my destination.
I paid the cabby while thanking him and quickly got out of the car so as not to let more heat in.
And then I surprised myself… and I waved to him, as he drove off.
I walked toward the press event I was attending, trying to remember its importance.
But no matter how I rationalized it, nothing I was doing that day was as important as what that cab driver said to me.
Nothing was as vital as the lesson I had learned by
reluctantly
staying quiet.
…My Aunt Irene prompted me to recall my cab ride one day. She repeated a saying of hers to me.
“I’m wearing beige, keeping my mouth shut, and showing up on time.”
No, it’s not Einstein’s theory. But it works.
We don’t always have to be Lady Godiva.
Sometimes we should sit back, test the waters, smile our best smiles, and survey the landscape, to better prepare ourselves for what’s to come.
Then, next time we find ourselves in a pantheon of opinions and hypotheses, we’ll be comfortable enough to sit back and let someone else tap dance in the spotlight and possibly add a comment here and there.
After all, it’s the discerning mind that knows when not to say something.
Never assume anything.
Use tact.
LISTEN.
And in worst case scenarios, just wear beige and keep your mouth shut,
you may learn something.
Then when it’s time to go,
get your coat and leave 
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 17 – The Platypus
Looking for a miracle?
I have one word for you: platypus. Have you really ever taken a moment and studied a platypus? They are incredible.
These animals have nothing going for them and yet they are one of the most enduring species on earth.
For starters, the platypus is a semi-aquatic, egg-laying, web-footed mammal found only in eastern Australia and Tasmania.
When it was first discovered it was thought to be a trick. The biologist examining the initial specimen believed someone had put together a duck’s head and a furry mammal’s body. In other words, the platypus doesn’t look similar to any animal on earth. And it does just about everything the hard way.
The mammal has to store fat down in its tail for energy reserves to be used throughout the winter. Meanwhile, it’s trapping a layer of air at all times next to its skin to insulate it from the freezing water temperatures that this warm-blooded creature is in up to 12 hours a day. Not only that, the platypus has its nostrils on the top of its bill.
It can stay underwater to find food for only two minutes at a time, it has to close its eyes, ears and nostrils when diving. And, this poor animal doesn’t even have any teeth, just horny pads to grind its food.
Horny pads? Yikes.
And last but not least, the platypus has to deal not only with its odd evolution, but also with getting hurt by other platypuses. Each male of the species has a small spur on each inside thigh.
Yeah, I know it’s crazy, but just stay with me for a minute.
These spurs are connected to venom glands and when they get mad during mating season, males tend to hurt each other, to spurn competitive suitors.
The platypus venom can cause unbelievable pain to humans and is strong enough to kill a dog.
Yeah, that’s what I said- they can kill… a DOG.
This animal is bizarre.
On top of being totally peculiar, they’re mysterious, as well. No one has ever seen a platypus lay its eggs. Females have no pouch to hold the eggs. Baby platypuses are the size of a peanut when they hatch, have no hair and are blind. Needless to say, many young do not survive their first year, dying from natural causes or being eaten by predators.
You thought you had it rough? Guess again. We have it pretty good.
Have Faith… if you need motivation,
think of a platypus.
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 16 – Try Something New
My mom once told me when trying something new, say to myself,
“It’s Wednesday,
the whatever day of the month, of the year,
and I’ve never done this before.”
Coming from that perspective, realizing you don’t have years of experience on which to draw, lightens the load a bit.
A polished performance is not mandatory your first time out doing anything. Just because you are great with numbers or finances or words or music
doesn’t mean you have to dominate the landscape with your agility or voice or strength or logic. You don’t have to be a whiz at everything.
Try new experiences anyway.
You will find things that you have a real talent for that you never knew about.
It will amaze you; it may change your career or passion in life.
… Take a chance on the wrong answer.
Being wrong doesn’t make you stupid.
No one is stupid.
Someone may be dull, they may be ignorant, they may even be vapid, but human beings are not stupid. And folks who can’t stand being wrong are really missing out.
… Take a chance to be alone too…
Enjoy solitude once in a while.
Solitude isn’t being lonely; it’s just being alone.
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 15 – Credit
‘Give me a Break!’
‘Give me some Credit!’
A good place to start bettering the world is in giving credit.
That’s right. It’s not that hard. It doesn’t take much effort.
Giving credit to fellow members of humanity makes a big difference.
Everyone deserves a little more credit than they get. Start acknowledging credit where credit is due. If we all do it individually, then just maybe the pendulum will start to swing against dumbing down the masses.
Do we really need those warnings on hairdryers that tell us we can get electrocuted by using it in the shower?
Do we really need to be told that smoking is bad for us?
People, down deep, want to do their best.
We want to succeed.
We want to believe in ourselves.
Of course, everything is good in moderation. Giving or taking credit to the extreme, especially when it’s unjustified is pretentious. And pretentiousness is a bit silly. When somebody says,
“I am sooooooo busy!”
Like no one else is busy?
In Washington, D.C. just about everyone is really busy.
Just about everyone in America or the world is always extremely busy.
Life is busy.
Keep a healthy balance,
and be able to accept a compliment too.
Give others and yourself… credit.
…Think about an example as elementary as high school. We all were freshmen in high school at one point. Did you ever look at the older kids and marvel when you were on that entry-level rung of higher learning? I did.
I used to see the older girls as they walked and talked, knowing where they were going without even thinking about it. They seemed to almost float from class to class, effortlessly.
They could have an important gossip session with the rest of their confident friends while navigating through a busy hallway to their next class.
They were like queen bees painlessly doing their dance through the mass of drones in their honeycomb hives.
I remember thinking how cool older girls’ uniforms looked. They didn’t scream, ‘New!’ at anyone. Their skirts and shirts were in shape with just the right amount of ‘lived-in’ look. They had their skirts just a tad too short, which could be explained away by a mid-summer growth-spurt to the faculty. Their socks had just the right amount of elasticity left in them so that they rested comfortably around their ankles.
Everyone had a perfect ‘bob’ haircut. For that fall was 1984, when everybody who was anybody cut their hair or grew it out all the same length for the infamous cut. Another look back then was to wear boxers underneath our uniform skirts, having them peak out just a tad, just enough to get on the nuns’ nerves but avoiding detention.
We weren’t allowed to wear rolled bandannas as headbands, so these immediately became popular. The nuns took tangle earrings away from us, but we were allowed to buy them back for a dollar at the end of every trimester at the front office. Yeah, trimester isn’t a misprint. Our high school was the only school I’ve heard of that operated on trimesters. Freshmen also had to take the violin, viola, cello or bass for one trimester as a requirement. And Latin was required too.
Despite our uniforms and strict headband and earring policy, some girls still managed to work on their Madonna look. The singer’s infamous Like A Virgin album came out when I was a freshman, causing most of us to embrace the material girl’s look for no other reason than we were desperate for any kind of fashion sense or trend.
Looking back, if only I had known how silly I actually looked with big bows in my hair and oversized everything. If only I had realized that those big bows subtracted about five years from my already very young, ‘I’m barely fourteen’ look. They looked good on Madonna but not on me.
How did they do it? I asked myself time and time again how these older girls could be so smooth. I couldn’t imagine a day when I was in their shoes.
In reality, these girls probably took twice as long as everyone else to get ready but they looked like they had not given their looks a moment’s thought and yet, exuded beauty. But I didn’t know that, yet.
Then, a couple of years later I turned around; we all did really. And all of a sudden it had hit us. We are one of those girls. We know the layout of the school; we know where classes are. We know teachers. Our skirts have shrunk a little, due to trip after trip to the washing machine.
But you know what? I felt no different than I had before. I had not emerged suddenly from the Dark Ages into the Enlightened Age, as a football player rips through a paper banner before a football game to come onto the field. I didn’t feel bad, but I didn’t feel like those older girls before me had looked.
This example may seem oversimplified, even trite.
But let’s just think about it a second.
This happens to us all through life.
Things, at many times, seem hard and out of reach.
At these times, we gotta think about how far we’ve come.
Sometimes we achieve and we immediately take our achievement for granted. That inadvertently dismisses the achievement in our minds.
That’s no good.
…Isn’t it comforting to remember how easily we all became people we thought were so cool, because they knew the back way around the library?
Life is that simple.
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 13 – Fear
Fear is dangerous because fear can make us terribly insecure.
If we are fearful, we may latch onto control. The immediate grasp we make for control, while afraid, is merely a desperate grab for a return to rational thinking.
Fear only exists in an irrational world.
Occasionally, fear can’t be helped.
The important concept to remember is to identify fear.
We shouldn’t be afraid to acknowledge that fear may exist in us.
For when we look fear in the eye, fear itself becomes afraid.
It avoids eye contact. It relishes unspoken assumptions.
Also, instilling fear into other people makes it easier to gain control over them.
If fear consumes someone they may look to be told what to do as the easy way out, for then they don’t have to deal with the uncertainty, the fear.
Just look at world history.
Usually bad leaders have come to power in the midst of fear and uncertainty.
Fear unconsciously causes people to let down their guard.
Don’t Be Afraid.
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – TRUTHS (Section 2)
TRUTHS
This is the beginning of the 2nd Section of this book.
It is titled: TRUTHS.
These are a series of stories and essays
that demonstrate what I’ve found to be
Truths of Life.
Since my accident,
many ordinary experiences have become extraordinary,
while problems that seemed monumental
have dissolved into insignificant annoyances…
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 10 – Strength
Strength.
We all have it.
Strength isn’t this nebulous cloud just out of our reach.
God does not give out strength selectively.
We all get strength.
The only variable is how far down we must reach to find it.
Truly.
* This is the last chapter of this section of the book.
It’s very short because I edited out the entire rest of the chapter.
This is just a reminder why some chapters are longer and some are very short.
I’m just sharing ‘the Good Stuff’.
The Next Section of this Book is titled:
TRUTHS
Stay tuned for next week!
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2010
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
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