The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – TRUTHS (Section 2)
TRUTHS
This is the beginning of the 2nd Section of this book.
It is titled: TRUTHS.
These are a series of stories and essays
that demonstrate what I’ve found to be
Truths of Life.
Since my accident,
many ordinary experiences have become extraordinary,
while problems that seemed monumental
have dissolved into insignificant annoyances…
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2011
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
Quotable Friday
“No Great Thing
is created suddenly.
There must be time.
Give your Best
And Always be Kind.”
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book – Chapter 10 – Strength
Strength.
We all have it.
Strength isn’t this nebulous cloud just out of our reach.
God does not give out strength selectively.
We all get strength.
The only variable is how far down we must reach to find it.
Truly.
* This is the last chapter of this section of the book.
It’s very short because I edited out the entire rest of the chapter.
This is just a reminder why some chapters are longer and some are very short.
I’m just sharing ‘the Good Stuff’.
The Next Section of this Book is titled:
TRUTHS
Stay tuned for next week!
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2010
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
Quotable Friday
“Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls
and looks like work.”
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book- Chapter 9 – Easy Is Overrated
Easy is overrated.
I opt for rewarding.
Alas, despite my declaration and other people’s testaments, a lot of times people look for the easy way out. Society right now is fixated on it. I’ve got news for these people. Nothing worthwhile is easy. You can’t swallow a magic pill to lose weight and you can’t invest in the stock market and get rich overnight.
When you work for something,
it is that much sweeter when it’s completed.
Don’t concentrate on finding the easy way out,
just focus and go to it.
You know,
I never realized how tired I was, until I couldn’t move.
I never realized how hard life was, until I quit for a moment.
I never realized how bad I could feel, until I entertained depression.
I never felt hopelessness, until I embraced pessimism.
But then,
I sat there looking into the face of despair
and I could see,
for the first time,
despair’s eyes and the contours of its expression.
Despair has weak, nondescript features.
Its eyes are shallow, you can see right through them.
When I peered some more at its image,
it became confused.
Its confusion became fear.
Then, it disappeared.
Then I realized…
Calm takes just a little more strength than crazy.
Life is for celebrating and enjoying, not denouncing and being downcast about.
Living does not involve keeping score or keeping track of everything we are due.
Listening makes more sense than exploding.
And love feels better than indifference… or anything else.
Miracles do happen.
Lotteries are won.
Truth can be stranger than fiction.
Good does win out over evil.
And, every kind action does come back to you.
I promise.
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2010
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
Quotable Friday
“BELIEVE.”
The BananaBlueberry Bits Book- Chapter 8- The Light Blue Hallway
Sometimes,
People can hurt you the most,
With their eyes…
Back in the hospital,
my speech therapy session was done for the day. The therapist’s next appointment was already there, so my wheelchair was parked outside in the hallway of the hospital. I sat there in my chair, waiting for an orderly to wheel me to physical therapy. I can’t quite remember if I was also in my harness, but I know I looked bad. My harness was used early on to strap me into my wheelchair, so I wouldn’t fall out,
due to lack of muscle control and everything.
It must have been the top of the hour, or maybe lunchtime because there was a definite hustle and bustle in the hall. People walked quickly to and fro, careful to avoid my space. But as hurried as everyone was, they all turned and took the time to look at me.
They turned their heads and their eyelids would droop. They looked at me with those weepy squints. The corners of their mouths would sag into a frown. And lastly, their eyes would speak to me,
“You poor thing. How we pity you.”
That broke my heart.
Now I’m sure every person walking through the hospital didn’t think that, but that’s how it felt. That’s what their looks told me. It’s as if they dropped their glances of pity on top of my heart and under that potent pressure my heart was breaking with every caught glimpse. Each mouth tried to grin yet couldn’t find it in them.
The sight of me hurt them.
Or maybe… I scared them.
Maybe they thought,
“Thank God that’s not me.”
That was one of the most gut-wrenching sights I ever saw, the look of tragic pity on someone’s face.
To see a loss of hope in a person’s expression that is looking directly at you, is devastating.
When I got those looks I felt that loss of hope as a gasp of breath. This gasp of breath was my soul gasping for breath, grasping for life. In those days, my soul would flutter for just an instant, trying to spare my heart from one more penetrating blow.
I’ll never forget feeling the double dagger of people looking at me, and at the same time, believing that I couldn’t see the look of utter defeat in them. They had not only given up on me, but also didn’t give my intellect credit for deducing the surrender in their prolonged glances. People tend to behave like deer caught in headlights when they see a human being, a brother, a sister, that has any type of body part that varies at all from the norm.
Pity.
Pity isn’t fair.
It’s not right to give up on anyone.
What those well-trained hospital workers said to me through the crimps in their faces was simple.
“We have lost hope for you.”
“You’re too far gone.”
“We don’t expect anything from you.”
Just believe in me, I thought.
Please, expect something from me.
I want to contribute.
I can understand. I comprehend. I’m not stupid…
Just treat me like everyone else.
Just give me time, all I need is some time…
We’re all on different schedules, that’s all.
We have to do this; we have to do that. We must pick up dry-cleaning, go to the grocery store and then we can swing by that gift shop for a card, since it’s on the way.
So many of us are on the way.
On the way to what?
We don’t have to keep that damn schedule. We are all on different ones. We don’t have to keep up with our friends or our siblings or our parents’ expectations or the Jones’s. Give yourself a break, give me a break. We gotta sit and think about where we are, not where we should be by now.
We should get really comfortable in our own skin and in the person we have developed into.
Just hush yourself.
Don’t get on that carousel turning around and around, endlessly and frantically marching in a circle.
No one should feel like I felt that day in the light blue hallway, ever.
No one should feel like we have given up on them.
Don’t pity yourself either. We all need to sigh once in a while, but don’t become the embodiment of a sigh. You’re better than that. In fact, write down how good you are and what things you do well. Don’t be embarrassed. You don’t have to show anybody. Accept yourself.
When you accept yourself, it’s easier to accept others.
When you feel good about yourself, it’s definitely easier to feel good about others and for others.
Show no pity, only compassion.
Copyright © Nicole Weber Crowley 2010
*Click On The BananaBlueberry Bits Book in my Navigation Bar Above,
to read previous chapters and the Introduction*
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